


Shaking Off Inevitability and Going All In

by Diary



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Incredible Hulk (2008)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Siblings, Awkwardness, Bechdel Test Fail, Bisexual Bruce Banner, Bisexual Male Character, Bisexual Tony Stark, Breaking Up & Making Up, Bruce Banner & Tony Stark Friendship, Bruce Banner Has Issues, Canon Crossover, Canon Divergence - Post-Avengers (2012), Clint Barton & Laura Barton are Siblings, Friendship/Love, Interspecies Romance, Late Night Conversations, Literal Sleeping Together, Not Iron Man 3 Compliant, POV Bisexual Character, POV Bruce Banner, POV Male Character, POV Nonhuman, Past Bruce Banner/Betty Ross - Freeform, Past Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Romance, Science Boyfriends, Sharing a Bed, Tony Stark Cooks, Unrequited Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-26
Updated: 2018-01-26
Packaged: 2019-03-09 18:47:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13487538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diary/pseuds/Diary
Summary: An AU, conversation-heavy look at Tony and commitment-phobic Bruce getting together, breaking up, and coming back together. Complete.





	Shaking Off Inevitability and Going All In

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own The Avengers.
> 
> Author's Notes: Two times 'Pepper' was 'Piper'. I don't know if this was a typing error or if auto-correct did it, but either way, I'm sorry for posting this fic without catching and correcting it first.

“Stay,” Tony mumbles.

Despite his seemingly half-hearted motions, he manages to grab hold of Bruce’s arm, and his grip is firm and sure.

Detangling himself, he kisses Tony, finds a towel to clean them both up with, and after this is done, goes to his room. Taking a shower and slipping into some fresh clothes, he doesn’t let himself think until he’s in the lab.

Ever since it was discovered he can safely have sex, this was more-or-less inevitable, he knows. As good as the sex was, he knows if this _hadn’t_ been discovered…

…

In the morning, Tony enters the lab with two floating trays, and one of them contains Bruce’s favourite breakfast. Before they’re even set down, Tony says, “We should talk about the sex.”

Grabbing the trays, he responds, “Ball’s in your court.”

“I was thinking it was a good indication we should try a relationship.”

For all he half-hoped they’d have the ‘it wasn’t a mistake, but it should remain a one-time thing’ discussion, this, too, feels largely inevitable. “I have no idea how Agent Romanov might react. We’d better beef up security on both your house and non-Avenger Stark Towers.”

Romanov doesn’t particularly like Tony, but she feels the same protectiveness over him she does other human civilians. In addition, she does like Pepper, and he doesn’t think Pepper will be angry, resentful, and/or jealous, but there’s a chance there might be awkwardness. No matter how amicable a breakup, if there were genuine feelings, it can’t be easy to see the other person moving on, he knows, and in their case, they were in love, and the relationship lasted for years.

Tony grins. “Already on it."

It’d be a good idea to bring up the newest article on Nikola Telsa he just read and gear up for the experiments they need to do to disprove its faulty conclusions, but instead, he finds himself moving over and kissing Tony.

There’s no doubt they’re going to last significantly less longer than Tony and Pepper did, but he’s been in Tony’s presence for years, working together, eating together, simply sitting and talking, and there have been so many times he’s felt the ache of wanting so badly to reach over and touch, to kiss- he’s going to make the most of the opportunities he’s finally been granted.

…

Tony is scheduled to speak at the U.N., and some people might argue, as Tony’s boyfriend, he has a duty to go with him and attempt to reign him in.

Steve’s going to be there, however, and part of the reason his friendship with Tony has always worked so well is due to the fact he rarely ever tries to dissuade and/or distract Tony’s schemes and flights of fancy. It’s not exactly a moral line of reasoning, he’ll readily admit, but he’s always looked at it as: Other people already have essentially full-time jobs doing so, and even if they don’t, with the other guy in play, it’s unlikely he’s going to be hurt by no one not.

“Sure you don’t want to come? I’ve always had this fantasy-”

“Have fun, Tony, and try not to get dragged back in handcuffs.”

“Speaking of handcuffs-”

He kisses Tony before ordering, “Jarvis, help him get ready.”

…

Romanov has a habit of occasionally invading whichever lab he’s working in.

He doesn’t mind. She never touches anything she isn’t supposed to, and when he sends her to the observation room, she never protests or complains.

“The honeymoon phase is going to wear off fast,” she says. “He’s going to want more than you’re willing to give.”

“I imagine so.”

 “You know so. Why are you doing this?”

Trying not to scoff, he takes off his glasses. “Look, I know you didn’t, but uh, I don’t know whether you would have slept with him or not when you were undercover. It doesn’t matter. He was attracted to you, but he didn’t decide it would happen. You and he both are the type of people who don’t need to use force, cajoling, or manipulation, but if one of you decides sex or a relationship is going to happen, there’s a very good chance it’s going to happen. No use fighting it, right?”

“If not for my mission, I would have fought.”

“And probably won,” he says. “I’m not like either of you.”

“I’m not sure I believe in luck, but the difference between you and me in this instance is that I’ve never fallen in love with someone like that.”

Giving what he hopes is a sympathetic smile and biting back a _believe me, that isn’t lucky_ , he goes back to his work.

There are times he thinks Clint and Romanov should both be shot. He’s not sure what Clint’s issue is, but for a super-spy, Romanov is determined to convince herself against all the obvious evidence that Clint isn’t as in love with her as she is him.

He almost asks about Nathaniel, her male namesake, the nephew she and Clint share. If Clint’s sister naming her kid after Romanov isn’t evidence of how firmly entrenched Romanov will always be in the Barton family, regardless of what may or may not happen between her and Clint-

However, she’s content to play some game involving marbles with Dummy and let the subject of him and Tony lie, and so, he continues his work.

…

  
“Captain America and I argued about our respective lack of patriotism.”

“You called Steve unpatriotic.”

“Would you expect anything less from me?”

“No.” He gently runs his hands down Tony’s body. “No bruises, broken bones, or sprains, right?”

“We’re both civilised- Yeah, okay, no, even I couldn’t sell that. We didn’t come to blows. Mostly because Pepper threatened me with an electric baton and some S.H.I.E.L.D agent was holding his shield hostage. I’m going to make sure that kid gets a handsome raise and better benefits.”

Tugging Tony’s shirt off and studying the reactor, he asks, “Did she use the electric baton?”

“No, but she did almost literally twist my ear off.”

Chuckling, he checks the ears.                                                                             

“Hey,” Tony slips his hands under Bruce’s shirt, “I didn’t know me almost getting killed was such a turn-on.”

Digging the hands out, he points out, “If that got me going, I would have made my move years ago.”

“I could point out you didn’t make the move a week ago, but instead, I’m going to ask: Why didn’t you? All those years ago?”

“What did you and Steve argue over?”

“A certain notorious secretive agency who may or may not be reverse-engineering facial recognition tech Stark Industries designed exclusively for our employees.”

“I’m confused. Whose position was what?”

Steve walks a fine line between admiring most government employees but not liking what many alphabet agencies do. Tony, on the other hand, agrees with much of what alphabet agencies want to do but doesn’t particularly trust most of the employees to do it and do it properly.

“We disagreed on what should be done to the people doing the reverse-engineering.”

“That makes more sense.” Tossing the shirt back, he sits down. “Are you going to do anything?”

…

Tony insists on dragging him to some New York pizzeria.

“There’s plenty of pizza in California. We could have ordered in, and I could have-”

“This is more for me than you,” Tony announces. “Why don’t we ever sleep in the same bed? Is it something about my bed? I can sleep in yours until I get a new one.”

When he was on the run, he once stayed about a month in a kind family’s barn, and one of the kids and his fiancée would always bring leftovers from the restaurant he worked at. Near Tony’s house is an Indian restaurant with curry that, though not as good, always invokes the good emotions he felt during that time.

He had wanted to order some and spend the day in with Tony, but he’ll admit this is fair on Tony’s part, though, he’d have preferred getting the pizza and going somewhere a little more private.

“There’s- there's nothing wrong with either of our beds.” Chewing, he tries to decide how to best explain, and Tony wads up pieces of his napkin but doesn’t go as far as throwing them.

“I can’t afford getting used to sleeping next to someone, and whether you like hearing this or not, I’m not sure you can either. You and I both occasionally have nightmares, and in my case, I’m always afraid they’ll bring out the other guy. And sometimes, um, I’m just a light sleeper. There’s a possibility me waking up so suddenly in the middle of the night with another person right in my personal space could make me disoriented enough for him to appear. I don’t want a sleeping person so close to me if this does ever happen.”

“You’ve fallen asleep listening to me talk.”

Somehow, Tony manages to make this sound more like an interesting observation than an accusation.

“In the day, in the middle of the Avenger’s Tower. If the other guy suddenly appeared, you’d be suited up instantly, and I’d be kept inside. It’s different, sleeping during the night with another person right next to you, even if the suits are nearby and your house is fairly Hulk-proofed.”

“For now, I’ll accept this, but it’s something we’re both going to need to work on,” Tony says.

He nods.

…

He _knows_ Tony, and so why he expected the trip to the New York pizzeria to be the end of it- Well, part of him had expected for Tony to simply get angry or disappointed one day.

Instead, Tony rounds up him, Clint, Pepper, and Rhodey for a movie night, and sometime into the third movie, he falls asleep. When he wakes up on the couch, Tony is lying across it with his feet in his lap.

He has a crick in his neck, his back is asleep, and mixed in with the exasperation is a warm, slightly aching feeling in his chest at the sight of Tony with one arm around a pillow, a case of bedhead, and his reactor glowing mutely underneath his shirt.

This isn’t really a solution, he knows, no matter what Tony might think. He doesn’t know where the others are right now, but they were here when he fell asleep. Rhodey has his own suit, Clint could probably temporarily incapacitate the other guy, at least, and he knows none of them would ever let anything happen to Pepper. They’d each sacrifice their own lives, if need be.

Apparently, she once wore one of the suits herself, but he’s never asked her about this, and for all he knows, his own brain simply made this up when he was sleepily listening to one of Tony’s many long, torturously detailed filled stories.

She used to feature extremely prominently in them.

Idly wondering if it was awkward for her to spend personal time with her ex-boyfriend and his new boyfriend in the house she and said ex-boyfriend once lived together in, he shakes Tony awake.

 …

 “We should do joint therapy sessions,” Tony says.

“No.”

After Loki was sent back, S.H.I.E.L.D. politely insisted everyone, including non-S.H.I.E.L.D. members needed to see a psychiatrist for a set amount of time. Tony had agreed on the condition he could choose his own, and then, proceeded to mostly ignore his choice in favour of dragging Bruce out of labs to have long, mostly one-sided conversations with him.

Next, he decided he’d try Bruce’s doctor, and despite his reservations, he’ll admit, Dr Scott has done them both a world of good. Tony’s PSTD has lessened, and it’s been almost a year since the other guy made an appearance.

However, sharing sessions is a terrible idea. Dr Scott knows they’re in a relationship, because, he told her. Whether Tony did too or not, he's never asked. He’s never tried to find out anything about Tony’s sessions from Dr Scott, and he trusts her to be able to keep Tony from finding out about his. If Tony starts trying to talk about their respective sessions, Bruce will shut him down.

“I don’t want you to feel like I’m talking about you behind your back.”

The words are odd, and he isn’t quite sure he believes Tony. “Feel free to talk to Dr Scott or any other licensed psychiatrist or psychologist you’re in session with about me as much as you want. You don’t need to feel guilty or tell me about it. In fact, don’t tell me.”

“That mean you talk about me?”

Very rarely, is the answer, but all he says is, “Therapy is for the things you can’t talk about with other people. Part of the reason it can be so beneficial is the fact a person doesn’t have to talk to anyone about what’s talked about between them and the doctor.”

“Therapy can also be about helping you to be able to talk to other people besides the therapist. Couples therapy is-”

Looking up from his notes, he takes off his glasses. “Do you think we need couple’s therapy?”

He’s surprised and uneasy to see Tony looking much the same.     

“Sir, Dr Banner, an emergency correspondence from Director Fury has just arrived.”

…

“If it weren’t for Pietro, Wanda would have killed those people.”

He doesn’t disagree, but so far, he’s successfully avoided entanglement in Tony and Steve arguing for almost twelve hours. Steve could stand to take what happened a little more seriously, but even with his own strong objections to Wanda’s continuing freedom and presence in his life, he’ll privately admit some of Tony’s ideas on how to prevent future incidents rightfully deserve to be smacked down.

All he wants is to sleep, wake up, and hopefully, manage to get involved in some project for long enough for Tony and the others to come to a consensus.

Stripping off his shirt, he’s just about to undo his belt when he notices a still dressed but shoeless Tony intently studying him.

“What’s your thoughts on this, big guy? Team Iron Man or Team Cap?”

“I’m less objective about Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver than both of you,” he points out. “Besides, I’m a scientist, first, and backup in the form of the other guy second. I help make the world a better place and protect it. Unless a question of Ross comes up, I try to stay out of decisions regarding criminals, other team members, and S.H.I.E.L.D.”

“Okay,” Tony says. “Fair enough. I’m not Iron Man, you don’t turn into the Hulk, and we’re not part of the Avengers. Hell, throw in your personal feelings towards Scarlet Witch. Do you align more with my ideas or Captain America’s on what the Avengers should do about her?”

Groaning, he rubs his eyes. “I align most with the idea that a fight is the last thing either of us need right now. It’s late, Tony. We’ve both been up for almost 72 hours.”

“Why would we have a fight? If you don’t agree, you can say so. I disagree very strongly with you getting rid of the Hulk, you know this, but you also know that, if you do find a way, provided you come out of it alive and healthy, I won’t stop you.”

It’d be a terrible idea to respond truthfully: If he ever does find something he thinks has a good chance of working, he’s not telling anyone, least of all Tony. And if Tony found out and tried to stop him, he’d willingly do battle against him.

Something hinting at these thoughts might have just shown on his face, because, suddenly, Tony is giving him a hurt, almost disgusted, vaguely disbelieving look.

“You know ‘playboy’ and ‘commitment issues’ aren’t necessarily mutually inclusive. There was an extended period in my life where I didn’t want anything serious. I could go down the reasons why, break them down, but I don’t think that’s the point here. For all my other wonderous achievements, being a great boyfriend has never been one of them. But it’s not for a lack of genuinely trying. When I’m with someone, here with you now- I’m all in, Bruce.”

He hears the unspoken question, _are you?_ , and self-anger and self-disgust fills him as he suddenly realises: He shouldn’t have done this.

Once, a little after Thor had taken Loki back to Asgard, Tony and Pepper had been out, and he'd left the lab to get some food. This should have been where the story began and ended, but Tony had taken offence over the fact he'd gone out in the rainy weather to buy an admittedly over-priced, subpar sandwich instead of eating the dinner Tony had prepared for himself and left in the fridge.     

Pepper had given him a sympathetic look but taken Tony’s side by nodding along with the ranting and interjecting calm, reasonable points when Tony was forced to take a breath.

He’d thought then they were perfect for each other, and part of this had been due to the fact he’d realised exactly what kind of person Tony is: For all his desire to have attention on him and refusal to listen to most people when what they’re saying contradicts what he’s already decided, Tony is the type who, if he didn’t have a cent to his name, would still find a way to secretly slip a coat or a morsel of food to someone he judged needed it more.

When it comes to people Tony genuinely likes, them being unhappy is- it’s a more urgent, important matter than any dying or otherwise legitimately suffering people.

Despite knowing all this, he’d gone in with the certainty he and Tony ending would be the conclusive result, and- Tony’s been all in from that first morning after. He’s known they _could_ end, but the goal was to see if something deeper could and would develop. The possibility they would be together for the rest of their lives was something Tony believed and accepted had a chance.

This is a terrible thing to do to anyone, but Tony- God, Tony has been the first true friend he’s had in literal years. Every selfless thing Tony has done for him, every thoughtlessly affectionate word and gesture, all the genuine loyalty and trust he’s bestowed, this is the worst payback he could have possibly given Tony. 

Tony sighs. “You’re going to need to say something, eventually. Best do it now.”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Tony, we were never going to work long-term. It’s not because-”

“I don’t care,” Tony interjects with tired eyes. “Let’s call this what it is: A breakup. If you try to leave before you’ve gotten some sleep and had a proper meal, I’ll give Hulk a reason to appear.”

Tony storms out, and sighing, he collapses on his bed.

…

Before he can truly make any decisions about what to do next, he’s been moved into an apartment with Clint. It’s about an hour’s drive from the Barton farm, and there’s a Stark lab about twenty minutes into the city.

He has access to every nook and cranny of it, and Tony never visits.

Jarvis, however, is always present, and he wonders if Jarvis gives Tony updates.

…

Romanov doesn’t say anything until there’s news coverage of Tony as Pepper’s date at something involving her company.

“It’s not an actual date. He only went to support her.”

“I didn’t ask.”

Filing her nails, she comments, “You’re more of a tragedy than Hawkeye and I ever will be.”

He isn’t up to arguing.

“Just tell me: Is it him being a man?”

Surprised, he looks fully over. “No. I’ve always been fine with my bisexuality. There were times in the past I felt it prudent to keep it hidden, but I always knew it was the world that had a problem, not me.”

He imagines Tony would try to apply a similar analogy to the other guy, but him being able to experience attraction to multiple genders has never put large numbers of people at risk of severe injury and/or death. It’s never been a threat to multibillion dollar property or the only home some can claim to their names.

For reasons he doesn't understand, he finds himself asking, “Then, what is it?”

She shrugs. “You know certain things, doctor. And I know my partner. There are certain things I can never have, and I’ve accepted that. Do you honestly believe you and he didn’t have a chance?”

“Yes,” he answers.

Something akin to nausea rolls through his whole body.

“Please, elaborate, doctor.”

“I need to run some tests. You know the drill: Observation room or leave the lab.”

…

“Do you think I made a mistake in ending things with Tony?”

“What’s important is what you think,” Dr Scott answers. “What’s brought this up?”

“I keep second-guessing myself.”

“It’s not uncommon for a person to second guess themselves after a painful breakup.”

“It wasn’t painful. All things considered, it was, uh, fairly amicable.”

She gives him a slightly exasperated look. “You know full well that a breakup doesn’t have to be messy to cause pain, Dr Banner.”

He sighs. “I don’t want to be talked into seeing if getting back together is a possibility.”

“I won’t try to talk you into anything.”

“Agent Romanov and I were talking. To keep it short: I know why he and I never would have worked, even if I had been all in. But I can’t help but wondering- I don’t know.”

“Am I right to assume she disagrees with your reasons?”

“Losing Betty almost broke me. Literally. I can’t ever go through something like that again. And in some ways, there’s more of a risk with him than her. He’s come close to dying so many times. What if- On a less-” He pauses. “If I did give it a chance, and we just didn’t work, how much do you think that would hurt?”

“It would depend on-”

“I’m in love with him. I have been for years. I never let myself be jealous of Pepper. I was happy for them. I was sure they’d be together until death did them part. I knew, when they got married, there’s a chance I’d be in the wedding. But, and with all respect towards Pepper and no disrespect towards myself, what sort of idiot would fall in love with Tony Stark?”

“I wouldn’t characterise either you or Miss Potts as an idiot.”

“I’ve done some extremely idiotic things in my life, and I try to always acknowledge that. Tony is-”

“What,” she prompts.

“I wasn’t ever supposed to fall in love after Betty. After the other guy came around. What do you think my issue in not being willing to commit here is, doctor?”

Dr Scott is quiet for a long moment. “From what I’ve observed, I’d say, even before Hulk entered the picture, you were the type to choose who you opened yourself up to very carefully. You stuck to areas of life you felt relatively comfortable in. You let Dr Ross in. When Hulk was created, however, you decided you’d never let anyone get as close as she did. Tony hasn’t, but he got much closer than you ever intended to let him.”

“Now, I’m not trying to talk you into anything, but I’m going to ask you to consider something, and I’d suggest you consider it carefully rather than dismissing it: Imagine the absolute worse that could happen if you and Tony both gave a proper relationship a chance. Imagine the absolute best that could happen. Now, is the pain you’re feeling worth protecting yourself from that future potential pain? And is giving up the chance for the happiness the absolute best could provide worth not risking that potential pain?”

“Shouldn’t everyone avoid pain?”

“I think you know better than that, but no. A child falls off a bike and gets skinned knees and elbows. That child should be encouraged to continue learning how to ride. Of course, there are exceptions to everything, but as both a psychiatrist and a fellow human being, I’ll say people absolutely should take certain risks. No one can ever avoid all pain, and when it comes to relationships, whether they’re platonic or otherwise, there’s always a risk entering one will result in some form of distress, but people shouldn’t consistently isolate themselves from experiences with other people in an effort to ensure they never suffer any.”

“My risks have brought bad more often than not. The other guy being the biggest example.”

“What about Dr Ross?”

Closing his eyes, he almost can’t force the words out: “Sometimes, I know it was a mistake to get involved with her. As much as I love her, as much as I always will, if we’d never happened, maybe, both of our lives would be better.”

“Do you know how she feels about this?”

“No,” he answers. “The last time we saw each other- I know she was telling the truth about how she felt then, but if that’s changed over the years, I don’t know. I’m never willingly going to contact or see her again.”

“I believe, if you consider what I’ve proposed, it will help you in coming to terms with the breakup.”

“What if I- I disagree. If I realise I’ve made a terrible mistake-” He represses a groan.

“If you’ve made a mistake that can’t be fixed, you’ll live, Dr Banner. It’ll hurt. There will likely be setbacks in your building up a healthy psychological mindset. But after everything you’ve been through, this won’t be the mistake that breaks you.”

“Because of me or because of the other guy?”

“The Hulk’s presence is the only thing that has made you suicidal. Everything else you faced, you’ve always found a way to fix it or deal with it. To tweak a popular quote, time doesn’t always heal all wounds, but given enough time, many people can learn to live and thrive even with such wounds.”

…

He finds himself asking Romanov, “Why didn’t you ever object to my relationship with Tony?” Closing his tablet, he continues, “To clarify, I imagine you would stay out of the personal lives of fellow Avengers if you simply disagreed with their romantic choices, but every interaction we’ve had on the subject has been about me not being all in. Why bring it up at all?”

A contemplative expression crosses her face, and when she answers, her voice is heavy: “We’re both monsters, Banner. Neither of us deserve love or happiness. But some people are never going to get that memo, and being monsters doesn’t keep us from being able to love. The people we love, they do deserve such things. If we can give it to them-” She looks pointedly at him.

“You’re not a monster,” he says.

“We both are.”

“What makes Hawkeye different from Tony?”

“His sister and our shared children,” she answers. “Laura would find a way to kill me, and the day I ever do something to hurt those three.” She shakes her head.

“Admittedly, my interaction with Ms Barton has been limited, but I think she’d be happy if the two of you got a clue.”

“Is there a reason you’re bringing this up?”

He sighs. “I made a mistake. I’m admitting that. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s one that can be fixed. I was wondering if you could give me some advice on how to deal with the pain. There isn’t a danger of the other guy appearing, but my work is suffering.”

“Have you even tried fixing it? You know how to contact him.”

“Pepper is living with him.”

“No, she’s not. They’re not back together. Her plumbing wasn’t up to code, and she slept in one of his guest rooms for two weeks while he had her house’s plumbing and electrical system refurbished.”

“Oh.”

“Go see him, Dr Banner.”

“I’ll call him.”

She shrugs. “It might be better to go see him unannounced. If you give him time, he’ll get his guard up.”

“I’m not ambushing him.”

“He’d ambush you.”

She’s not exactly wrong, but this doesn’t mean she’s right.

“I’ll get right on booking a ticket and attempting to break into his fortified to the teeth house.”

“Apologies for interrupting, Dr Banner and Agent Romanov, but Dr Banner, your access to Sir’s house has never been revoked, and certain Stark jets have been reserved to be permanently accessible to all Avengers,” Jarvis interjects.

If he wasn’t sure Jarvis’s ethical protocols on privacy were up-to-date, he’d be worried.

“I was going to suggest being my date to next week’s Stark fundraiser, but that works,” Romanov says.

…

It’s night when one of Stark’s autonomous cars drops him off at Tony’s house, and it feels too easy when Jarvis opens the door before he even starts to unlock it.

“Welcome back, Dr Banner. Sir is currently sleeping in his bed.”

“Thanks, Jarvis. I don’t need anything right now.”

He goes to what used to be his room, unpacks the clothes he brought, and takes a shower.

What he should do is set his alarm and go to sleep, but instead, he finds himself going to Tony’s room.

The sight of Tony sleeping makes his heart twist. When a nearby robots pulls the covers over Tony, Tony immediately kicks them back off and tosses and turns before finally ending up back on his back. His forehead is furrowed, his lips are twisted, and his reactor flickers somewhat erratically.

He wonders if he should wake Tony up.

Then, he finds himself looking at the bed. Tony’s mostly on the right side, and there’s plenty of room on the left. Except, entering his ex-boyfriend’s house unannounced in the middle of the night is pushing things even with the fact they’re teammates and he has legitimate access. Getting into his sleeping ex-boyfriend’s bed-

Is crazy and inappropriate, but he knows Tony well enough to know it isn’t going to end too badly for him. He’s not going to have to go on the run again, and if Tony never wants to see him on a personal basis again, he can handle that.

Seeing the robot is about to try to put the covers back on Tony, he goes over and touches it.

It zooms away, and he gets in bed. Grabbing the covers, he pulls them over him and Tony, rolls over on his right side, and quickly falls asleep.

…

Tony’s first reaction is to make sure his presence is real and no mind control is being inflicted on either of them.

After he’s convinced it is and there isn’t, he starts making breakfast. “Not that I’m complaining, but what do I owe this pleasure? And why didn’t you wake me up so I could more fully enjoy it?”

“All I did was- Actually, uh, what I did was invade your bed without your knowledge or consent. I was going to say all that happened was sleeping, but-”

Tony sets a plate in front of him. “We both know I’ve been wanting you and me sleeping in the same bed for a long time. It would have been nice if it’d happened when we were together, but-” He shrugs. “Is that why you’re here? Something to do with when we were?”

“Yeah.” He takes a bite of the omelette. “I’m sorry. Hurting you wasn’t intentional, but some or all of it could have been avoided. I know you, and because of that, I should have known there was a possibility you were going into things with different expectations and ideas. Instead, I never stopped to think that you weren’t looking at our relationship the same way I was, despite the signs that were there.”

Sitting down, Tony pours some orange juice. “It’s not all on you, big guy. I know you, too. And while I think I was a little better at seeing the signs, I could have done better at how I went about addressing them. We probably both should have done more to have a serious conversation that morning after.”

Stretching slightly, Tony continues, “Still, I’m sorry, too. You didn’t really do anything wrong. But I imagine you’ve still been feeling guilty, huh?”

“Mostly, I’ve just been missing you,” he admits. Looking away from Tony’s interested expression, he continues, “No one forced me to talk about it, but somehow, I ended up talking to Agent Romanov and Dr Scott. Believe me, I can understand hoping it’d last forever, but I can’t understand how you genuinely thought there was an actual possibility for that.”

They both eat a bit before Tony asks, “Did you think there was an actual possibility with Betty Ross?”

“I believed it with her. When everything started going to Hell, I still believed it. Accepting that it wasn’t, that I was wrong, was a long, hard process.”

There’s the expected sadness in Tony’s eyes, but thankfully, he doesn’t appear to be truly hurt.

“I don’t know if I ever believed it. I’d like to think, at some point with Pepper, I did, but I can’t say for sure. But I can’t- I’ve been in relationships that weren’t terribly serious before. We liked each other, it was fun, in some cases, there were even some genuinely strong feelings involved, but yeah, there was a good chance nothing serious would ever come.”

“What you and I had, though- Are my feelings deeper than yours, Bruce? You keep yourself so detached from everyone, and I thought I could tell when you had strong feelings past that, but hey, I could be wrong.”

He mostly manages to stifle his laugh. “Sorry. Tony, you were with Pepper when we first met. You two were making plans to move in together. And aside from general ethics and you being nice to me, being an honest-to-God friend, I liked her as a person. I still do. She’s an intelligent, kind woman with a great sense of humour. Believe me, I thank God you didn’t, but sometimes, I wonder how in the hell you never saw.”

“Her and everyone but Romanov, it was easy. But you, you knew me more than I was comfortable with. I wanted forever with you. I just didn’t believe there was any chance I’d get it. There are so many things that could happen, the idea that none of them might, that I might finally be able to be happy and have a life where it lasts, I can’t, as much as I want to, buy that.”

Tony clinks his glass against his. “Glad we could get this all hashed out. I’d really like something stronger to drink, but Rhodey and I have a bet going.”

“Oh? About what?”

“Not important. I’ll win, naturally. So, uh, what made you decide to come here last night? Again, definitely not complaining, but you could have just called and set up a time to meet and talk.”

“I needed to talk to you. It was past time. Crashing in your bed instead of my old one, that was an impulse.”

Getting up, Tony starts making what looks to be pancakes. “You know, funny thing about being a rich genius’s rich genius kid, you usually know when someone wants something from you. Even if they don’t make any attempt to get it, you still know. See this is one of the problems I’ve had with you from the very beginning: you’ll want or, worse, need something, and you’ll maybe make an attempt to get it. Usually, you won’t say anything, and if the risk is deemed too high by your skewed standards, you’ll start trying to live without.”

“Well, me wanting you to stop defending the other guy hasn’t happened for how many years now? I’m starting to doubt you ever will.”

“Funny.” Tony digs some bananas and blueberries out of the fridge. “Look, Bruce, we’re friends. If you there is something, just tell me. I know you like me for more than my dashing good looks, brilliant mind, and almost trillionaire status.”

“Don’t forget your humility,” he comments.

Laughing, Tony grins over at him, and he feels everything inside him shifting.

Then, Tony deposits blueberry-banana pancakes in front of him. “If you need Iron Man to get around those pesky anti-human experimentation regulations again, I promise you, there’s no awkwardness. Well, there might be a little at first, but it doesn’t have to last long. You know I’m always happy to help one of my best scientists by-”

Reaching out to stop Tony from going back to the stove, Bruce squeezes his hand, and stopping, Tony looks at him.

“You. That’s what I want. I can’t promise to be all in, but I would promise to try.”

Grabbing a nearby chair, Tony pulls it over and sits down next to him. “So, Team Iron Man or Team Captain America?”

He sighs. “If this is about Wanda and her brother, I understand Steve’s reasons for defending them, even if I can’t get behind it. When it comes to you, sometimes, you have really good ideas, Tony. No one can truthfully deny that. But uh, sometimes, you decide to do things without taking into consideration how badly they could affect other people. You only see your end goal happening, not what could happen instead or what the potential unintended consequences could be.”

“Hm. Hey,” Tony says in a vaguely cheery tone, “look at that. We’re both still here.”

Rubbing his eyes, he tries not to scoff or laugh.

“Look, you don’t have to be all in, big guy, but being with someone who’s just waiting for it to end wasn’t good. I want to be with you. For us to try. If Hulk doesn’t scare me, learning that you don’t always agree with me and don’t like certain things about me isn’t going to- I’m not even sure what you think might happen. If we do this again, I think couple’s therapy is worth a try.”

“As long as it’s not with Dr Scott, I’m willing,” he says. “I want to keep her, and I’m genuinely fine with us both seeing her, but I do think it’d be a bad idea to see her together.”

“Okay,” Tony agrees.

Then, Tony’s leaning over and kissing him, and past the pleasure, he feels something vaguely settling down inside him. As always, he can still acutely feel the other guy lurking beneath, but for the first time in a long time, he feels a strong degree of peace and hope.

…

It takes some trial-and-error to get to the point he can comfortably sleep next to Tony, but soon enough, he’s living back in Tony’s house and sleeping next to his boyfriend without the aide of movie night or being afraid of the other guy appearing every time he feels himself falling asleep.

They start working on a new design of portable water filtration, and one day when they get home from the lab, Tony muses, “I wonder what’s got Romanov so interested. If S.H.I.E.L.D. thinks this is something to be monitored-”

“Agent Barton has a new girlfriend. I don’t think the relationship’s going to last, but until it ends, she’s going to try to avoid spending non-mission time with him. Even with how happy I am with you, I’m still one of the few people who can understand what she’s going through.”

“Huh. Think we can do anything else? Or you? I know, no crazy matchmaking schemes to get them to realise they should have been honest-to-God married years ago, but I mean, just in general to help ease things for her.”

He knows he’s probably going to regret this.

“Everyone knows I probably can’t be killed, but if you’re willing to risk your ex-girlfriend, an ex-cold war spy, and possibly other members of the Avengers attempting to kill you, exactly how crazy are we talking here?”

Tony looks at him with surprised, delighted eyes.

Giving Tony a quick kiss, he says, “I’ve been wishing I could make them stop this dance of theirs for years. And even though she’d empathetically disagree with the idea this was helping her, Agent Romanov helped me after you and I broke up. If I could help her in the same way, if I could help Clint, I think it’d be good for everyone.”

“Provided I don’t get killed,” Tony quips.

“If there’s one thing I don’t hate about the other guy, it’s that he’s always looked out for you.”

“He respects my lack of fear.”

“No, I think he just loves you as much as I do.”

Tony takes a sharp breath, and he realises exactly what he just said.

“Oh, yeah? How much is that?”

If he tried to kill himself right now, even if the other guy weren’t in play, Jarvis could easily stop him.   

“Enough that I hope I get to spend the rest of my life with you.” He squeezes Tony’s hand.

Wrapping around him, Tony asks, “Are you going to say it properly?”

He kisses him. “I love you, Tony.”

Letting out a breath, Tony presses closer against him. “I love you, too. Tell me you know and believe that.”

“Yeah, of course, I do.”

He used to believe certain things with Tony were inevitable, but now, he knows better. There is a chance, and he’s going to try his best to take it.  


End file.
